I recently attended a community dinner at a hip social club in downtown San Francisco.  There were twenty-five of us all sitting at a long “Henry VIII” dining table sharing an elegant 3-course dinner paired with fine wines.  The dinner takes place in a beautiful, quaint, wine cellar located in the lower level of the club.  It’s an ideal location for an intimate occasion for a group this size.  The club features a number of these community dinners during the year for different purposes.  This one happened to be for women-only.

The format for these dinners is for everyone to take a turn introducing themselves to the group while enjoying a delicious meal together.  The host of the dinner also poses a question for you to answer as part of your introduction.  The question for this evening was:  What is it that you are currently obsessed with?  I happened to be sitting to the immediate left of the host and she chose to start the introductions going to the right, whew!  As an introvert, I was relieved to have some time to give thought to my response.  As I listened to each woman share their story, I observed the following:  1) there are a lot of extraverts in the world who thoroughly enjoy an audience; 2) people (we) are obsessed with how much we have accomplished and can’t wait to accomplish even more; 3) Mahjong appears to have become quite a popular competitive game.  

I was beginning to feel intimidated as it got closer to being my turn to speak.  Speaking publicly makes me anxious to begin with and now I’m with a group of high-powered women who are taking the world by storm – talented, driven, and accomplished.  As I continued to listen, I recalled that time in my life when I could identify with these women in their desire to achieve and realized how much my perspective on life has changed.  I remember thinking, “do I even belong here”?  It finally came to my turn and I was really feeling the pressure of being the last to speak with nothing fabulous to share.  I mustered my courage to speak truthfully from my heart even though where I was coming from was so different and said: “what I’m currently obsessed with is re-inventing myself”.  In that moment, the silence was deafening and everyone just stared at me. I think I heard one woman say, “wow”.  I went on to explain the spiritual and emotional transformation I’ve experienced as I’ve healed from my knee injury.  I shared that all my life I had allowed my male energy to dominate, to drive me, which propelled me to success in my life but that my injury revealed how broken my female energy was and what was missing from my life.  The “She” in me was broken and I needed to heal her.  The healing process has provided a whole new perspective of my world and I am discovering the joy of just “being”.  I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to cook, I want to write, I want to explore in new ways, I want intimacy, I want passion, I want to love and be loved, I want to be close to my family, I want a life partner with whom to share life fully and deeply.  I want my soul to be fulfilled and my spirit to soar.  I want to simply enjoy the world for what it is and make these the next ten best years of my life.  When I die, I want people to say, “she lived her life”. 

As the evening ended, several women approached me to comment on how beautiful my story was and how they could relate, then asked for my contact information. The host gave me a big hug. I felt like I glowed as I left the room.