The last two weeks in Minnesota were sad as I said goodbye to so much of my life. I realized that I can go home but home doesn’t stay the same. The home I knew is only in my mind now. Friends and loved ones are gone, places have closed, the environment has grown and changed. Some things look the same but yet felt empty. I wonder how much of this is due to the effects of COVID.

I spent time with “old” friends and visited my old neighborhoods hoping to recapture what once was. Then, there were the memorial “services” for Harry and Christopher. Both events were lovely and special — fitting for each of them. Andre and Brittney spent a week with me in northern Minnesota and Canada to release Harry in his favorite places. It was a beautiful experience. He is free now and perhaps we are, too. Christopher’s family hosted a special event at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts which was a tribute to his life and work. Yet another peaceful and loving release. Here is a link to Christopher and his life’s work: https://edwardcurtis.com/christopher-cardozo/.

The question I kept asking myself is could I live there once again. At first it was an emphatic no because if felt too painful. Gradually, I could remember the reasons to live in Minnesota — the lakes, all the nature at one’s fingertips and just the general quality of life. I still don’t know if I could resettle permanently there but it will stay on the list as a contender. I do, at least, want to make an annual pilgrimage in remembrance of all that I had there. I am so grateful for what Minnesota contributed to my life, to my being.

Now, I’m visiting family in eastern Wisconsin. For how long, I’m not sure but more on that later.